February Changes

Starting in February my hair will be laid like change the world. Yes gawd hunty!! (in my best Funky Dineva Ross voice!)

There are so many things I'll be doing next month, so I figured I'd give everyone a rundown on how my world is changing and how I plan to change the world for everyone else.

Volunteer Opportunity
I have been blessed with the opportunity to become a volunteer for the Durham Crisis Response Center. My domestic violence and sexual assault advocacy training starts next week. I will be trained as a volunteer for the faith-based initiative at this amazing organization.

The folks there are definitely angels on earth. They do so much for the Durham County community that it blows my mind. They operate a 24 hour crisis line in English and Spanish for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. They offer shelter and transitional housing for their clients. They have non-residential support services that include: hospital accompaniment, legal advocacy, support groups, community education and outreach.

I'm sure there will be a separate post about the work I'll be doing at the DCRC in the following months.

Fitness
Currently, I'm completing the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I'll be done with this program by mid-February, and then I'll start the Jillian Michael's 6 Week 6 Pack workout series. In addition to my new Jillian Michael's fascination, I'll be starting the Brazil Butt Lift 60 day workout in February. To complete my beach body transformation, I thought I'd join a small February Wall Sits and Donkey Kicks challenge. If you're interested in this challenge, please see the details below.

Valentine's Day
If you didn't know, I also make chocolate covered treats to sweeten people's lives. During the month of February, I'll be celebrating a year of making candy apples, chocolate covered strawberries, marshmallow pops, pretzel favors, and chocolate covered pears. For this huge milestone I'm hosting a giveaway at Caramel Apple Delights. Please go vote for one or more of the photos in the 1st Anniversary / Valentine's Day Contest photo album to help a couple win a basket of my delectable treats.

Also, look around and place an order for some sweet treats for your loved ones. A portion of my proceeds after expenses will go to help a very special new friend who is battling breast cancer. She was denied health insurance coverage due to her pre-existing condition, so she needs all the help she can get to cover medical costs. If you'd like to make a donation directly to her, please visit Ashley's Go Fund Me page.

Potty Training
My two-year-old just came off her potty strike which has lasted from the beginning of October till a few days ago. February will mark our first full month of potty training. I'm excited, she's excited, the husband is excited, and the rest of our family can't wait till she's a potty pro so they can take her to some fun places without worrying about accidents.

As you can see, there will be a lot going on in my life during the next 28 days. I'm excited for the changes and challenges, and I'm happy I'll be busy. Although we're a day early, Happy February folks!!

Hair Care Routines

In the last few days I've been busy working out, researching hair care routines, and starting a natural hair Facebook group. 

One of my favorite things to do is talk about natural hair care. I have lots of friends who have been natural for a while, are considering going natural, are currently transitioning to natural, or parenting children with natural hair. I randomly have conversations with most of them on Facebook about what's working and what's not working. I figured it would be a great idea to bring all of my favorite naturals together to have one big, ongoing conversation all about hair! The best part about the group is everyone is encouraged to invite their natural friends so that we can have tons of perspective in a respectable atmosphere. 

Thanks to my new natural community, I've finally come up with hair care routines for me and my little one. Please see below and feel free to comment.

Reka’s Routine*

1. Co-washing: 1x per week – co-wash with V-05 conditioner on Saturday
2. Pre-poo / Shampooing: 1x per week – pre-poo with olive oil on Tuesday and wash out with Shea Moisture Curl & Shine shampoo on Wednesday
3. ACV Rinsing: 1x every other week – after co-wash on Saturday
4. Deep Conditioning: alternate between moisturizing treatment (homemade concoction of coconut oil, avocado oil & organic honey) and protein treatment (Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque) every other week on Wednesday
5. Clarifying: 1x per month – shampoo with Giovanni Deep Cleanse Shampoo at end of month on Wednesday

Livy’s Routine*

1. Co-washing: 1x per week: co-wash with V-05 conditioner on Saturday
2. Pre-poo / Shampooing: 1x per week – pre-poo with olive oil and wash out with Shea Moisture Curl & Shine shampoo on Wednesday
3. Deep Conditioning: 1x per month – alternate between moisturizing treatment (homemade concoction of coconut oil, avocado oil & organic honey) and protein treatment (something homemade) every other month
4. Clarifying: 1x per month – shampoo with Giovanni Deep Cleanse Shampoo at end of month

*LOC method after every wash and when needed between washes

From Random to Routine

I'm a very random, spontaneous person, so it's very hard for me to start a routine and stick to it. I don't have a regular full-time job, so most days I don't have to be up at a certain time or in bed by another time.

It's funny how my life became very stress-free when I stopped working, although there is less money coming into the household. I guess when you don't have deadlines to meet or customers to please, you have less pressure. But I digress.

Most days I just wake up and do things on a whim. Whatever I feel like doing, I do it. If I don't feel like doing something, I put it off to another day. There's really no one to hold me accountable or put me in check, so it's a rather fun way to live.

The problem is that I'm currently in a 90 day fitness challenge group and I need to find a structured hair care routine for myself and my daughter.

The thing I love about my fitness challenge group, is that everyone is very supportive. I'm always motivated to exercise whenever I see another person post about their workout, and I get excited to eat healthy when I see pictures of another person's healthy meal. I'm really starting to get a better handle on this whole healthier way of living thing. And although it took me 1.5 weeks to find workouts to stick to, I've finally found what works for me when it comes to my fitness routine.

The next step when it comes to my challenge group is getting a grasp on my eating habits. I really love healthy food, but I love junk food just as much. I've made a lot of progress from being the type of person to eat fast food 5 times a week to the person who actually cooks dinner 5 times a week. I haven't learned to control my cravings yet though. If I want some ice cream or some chips, I know I can go into the kitchen to get it.

I know you're probably thinking that I should throw out all the unhealthy snacks in the house, but that wouldn't be fair to my husband or daughter. They don't need to lose weight. They're happy with the occasional Lay's potato chip and bowl of Breyer's ice cream. I don't want to deprive them. Sheesh, I want to indulge every now and then, too. My goal is to learn to eat these things in moderation, and to stop eating the calories I've earned back with exercise.

When it comes to the coily curls and curly kinks in the family, I really have to buckle down and make a schedule for washing, co-washing, deep conditioning, protein treating, styling, and apple cider vinegar (ACV) rinsing. I also need to find the right mixture of natural oils and butters to use for my daughter's curls. I will be reading lots of internet posts and doing a lot of trial and error for the next couple of weeks to find out what works best for each of us.

While I set out to meet these not-so-lofty goals, please wish me luck and offer any time management or other advice you may have.

Homemade Hair: Shea Butter Mixture & Twists

This is my first installment of something I like to call "Homemade Hair." I'm currently16 months past my last relaxer, and I've gone about 14 months without applying heat to my hair. These particular posts will explore my homemade hair concoctions and hairstyles.

Three days ago, I decided I wanted to try to make my first homemade hair product. I gathered ingredients from my bathroom and kitchen, grabbed a bowl, spoon, and empty container, and then went to work.

I started with organic, filtered African shea butter from Ghana. I ordered this product on Amazon a few months ago. When I ordered it, I had these big plans of using it exclusively as my cream in the liquid oil cream (LOC) method for moisturizing hair. In reality, I've used it a handful of times for my hair and a couple of times for my stretch marks.

I really like the way shea butter seals moisture into the hair, but I don't like it's gritty texture. Please note, the texture is really not a problem if you take the time to properly melt it. I choose to melt it by rapidly rubbing it between the palms of my hands.

While I was perusing the internet for natural hair recipes I noticed a lot for whipped shea butter, and decided that I really wanted to make one for myself so that I could bypass the grit and get to the goods.

For my mixture I first placed half cup of shea butter in a container. I sat the container in a bowl of warm water. I was careful not to allow any of the water to enter the container because I didn't want my mixture to be ruined. My mixture is not meant to moisturize the hair, but rather to seal in moisture that has been previously added.

Next I added a couple teaspoons of extra virgin olive oil (EVOO) to the melted shea butter. I love EVOO because of its great properties. According to Dr. Phoenyx Austin, author of If You Love It, It Will Grow: A Guide To Growing Long Afro Textured Hair, EVOO moisturizes hair, prevents hair loss, strengthens hair, acts as a deep conditioner, and eliminates dandruff.

Then I added a teaspoon of 100% pure castor oil. Some people only think of castor oil as that disgusting liquid your grandma made you choke down as a laxative back in the day, but I love to use it for it's beauty properties.

Castor oil is a lot heavier than olive oil, but it's great for making my curls softer and thicker. Dr. Austin has written that this oil promotes hair growth, prevents thinning, moisturizes, reduces split ends, and tames frizz.

I mixed everything together by hand, but the next time I make a batch of this shea butter mixture I'll be sure to use an electric mixer.  I then co-washed my hair, which means to wash the hair with conditioner only. It sounds a tad bit strange, but it's a great way to clean the hair and scalp without stripping away natural oils.

After I carefully towel-dried my hair, I then applied a small amount of Kinky-Curly Knot Today detangler/leave-in conditioner. I finger-detangled my hair and then finished detangling with a wide-tooth comb. Next I proceeded to two-strand twist my hair without parting the hair first. I like for my hair to look as natural as possible, so I rarely ever part it with a comb. To the right you'll see my shea butter mixture and my finished two-strand twists with the mixture used as a sealant.

Yesterday my hair looked a little dull so I decided to spray my hair with a little water and reseal it with my mixture. Today I took down my twists, and I really love the results.

If you're interested in reading more of what Dr. Austin considers the best oils for natural hair, please read her article on the Black Girl With Long Hair Blog.

Dr. Mommy

When I was a young child, my mama had every natural healing book known to man. Those books came in handy because I didn't have to go to the doctor too many times back then.

When I was young I thought there was nothing homemade chicken noodle soup and honey lemon peppermint tea couldn't fix. And I enjoyed eating and drinking every single drop!

There was this one home remedy that I hated, even though it worked like a charm: the onions or potatoes in the socks. I promise you, there was a not a fever I had that didn't get broken by one of those veggies. It was just so uncomfortable and I distinctly remember writhing n the bed with a high fever trying to kick off my lumpy socks. Eventually I'd fall asleep, and when I'd wake up the in the morning the onions and potatoes would be shriveled and brown. I would feel cool and refreshed as if I'd never had a fever.

Now I'm Dr. Mommy and today my precious little toddler is feverish. I won't lie and say I didn't give her a dose of Children's Motrin, but when that wasn't working fast enough I resorted to the potatoes in the socks trick. I really hope this old school remedy does its job in 2013.

A New Name, Look

I made a big decision to change the name, look, and purpose of this blog.

Over the past couple of years I've been making changes to become happier and healthier in every aspect of my personal life. I've always had a passion for helping others, and I'm always trying to find ways to encourage those around me, as well. So I want this blog to be a true extension of all of me.

Some of the topics I will cover with this new purpose in mind will be familiar ones like sexual assault and domestic violence advocacy, with a sprinkle of the survivor's struggle thrown in. But, there will also be fun new topics like fitness, healthy eating, natural hair, parenting, and sports.

I hope everyone is as excited about these new changes as I am!

The Picture

Friday, January 4, 2013, started off like any other Friday. As the day progressed, I kept getting this overwhelming feeling that something awesome would happen.

Nothing really spectacular happened until I found a certain picture when I was looking for something else in an old photo album.

The picture I found was taken a few hours after I was raped on February 28, 2003.

It's a group picture and the person who raped me is right in the middle.

I hate the picture, but I can't let it go.

Ever since I found the picture, I've been off my game mentally. I really don't like surprises. This feeling will only last for a moment, and I know I'll be back to myself soon.

I won't allow the picture and what it represents to hold me back, and for now I'll keep it as a reminder of how far I've come. Thank God, I'm no longer a prisoner of my past.

It's Another New Year

Happy New Year!!!

We actually made it to 2013 despite what the Mayans predicted, woo hoo!!

I'm not one to make New Year's Resolutions because I think you should make needed changes when you see fit. There's no need to put off something to another year or another month or day because our time on this earth is never guaranteed.

What's new with me, you ask (well you didn't ask, but if you wanted to know):

• I'm back on track mentally. I had an incident get me down and panicky around Thanksgiving, but I've bounced back. My mind and my spirit have been renewed; I'm back to my good place.
• I'm doing a 90 day fitness challenge in which I have to walk 15 miles a week or complete 225 minutes of exercise per week. As part of the challenge, I must consume 64 oz of water per day. I have a love/hate relationship with water. I can drink 8 cups one day and then drink lemonade all day long the next, so I'm striving for consistency. 
• I'm trying to refrain from cutting my hair again. I took a couple inches off in November, and I'm not even sure why. It just kind of happened lol. I received a new flat iron for Christmas and I can't wait to use it once my hair gets to a good length. I'm loving team natural, but I wonder how my hair looks straight. 
• My baby is no longer a baby, and the terrible 2s are kicking my tail.
• I'm waiting to hear back from the Durham Crisis Response Center about scheduling my volunteer interview. If the interview goes as planned, I will complete training to be a Faith Based Community Educator in February. 
• I still don't have a job, but I'm applying for jobs like crazy. At this point, I don't mind staying unemployed until March because I really want to be a DCRC volunteer. I think educating people about domestic violence and sexual assault is one of the purposes for my life. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to allow God to use me in this capacity. 

I think I covered about everything new with me. I wish everyone a happy and prosperous New Year!