When I was a young child, my mama had every natural healing book known to man. Those books came in handy because I didn't have to go to the doctor too many times back then.
When I was young I thought there was nothing homemade chicken noodle soup and honey lemon peppermint tea couldn't fix. And I enjoyed eating and drinking every single drop!
There was this one home remedy that I hated, even though it worked like a charm: the onions or potatoes in the socks. I promise you, there was a not a fever I had that didn't get broken by one of those veggies. It was just so uncomfortable and I distinctly remember writhing n the bed with a high fever trying to kick off my lumpy socks. Eventually I'd fall asleep, and when I'd wake up the in the morning the onions and potatoes would be shriveled and brown. I would feel cool and refreshed as if I'd never had a fever.
Now I'm Dr. Mommy and today my precious little toddler is feverish. I won't lie and say I didn't give her a dose of Children's Motrin, but when that wasn't working fast enough I resorted to the potatoes in the socks trick. I really hope this old school remedy does its job in 2013.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
A New Name, Look
I made a big decision to change the name, look, and purpose of this blog.
Over the past couple of years I've been making changes to become happier and healthier in every aspect of my personal life. I've always had a passion for helping others, and I'm always trying to find ways to encourage those around me, as well. So I want this blog to be a true extension of all of me.
Some of the topics I will cover with this new purpose in mind will be familiar ones like sexual assault and domestic violence advocacy, with a sprinkle of the survivor's struggle thrown in. But, there will also be fun new topics like fitness, healthy eating, natural hair, parenting, and sports.
I hope everyone is as excited about these new changes as I am!
Over the past couple of years I've been making changes to become happier and healthier in every aspect of my personal life. I've always had a passion for helping others, and I'm always trying to find ways to encourage those around me, as well. So I want this blog to be a true extension of all of me.
Some of the topics I will cover with this new purpose in mind will be familiar ones like sexual assault and domestic violence advocacy, with a sprinkle of the survivor's struggle thrown in. But, there will also be fun new topics like fitness, healthy eating, natural hair, parenting, and sports.
I hope everyone is as excited about these new changes as I am!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
The Picture
Friday, January 4, 2013, started off like any other Friday. As the day progressed, I kept getting this overwhelming feeling that something awesome would happen.
Nothing really spectacular happened until I found a certain picture when I was looking for something else in an old photo album.
The picture I found was taken a few hours after I was raped on February 28, 2003.
It's a group picture and the person who raped me is right in the middle.
I hate the picture, but I can't let it go.
Ever since I found the picture, I've been off my game mentally. I really don't like surprises. This feeling will only last for a moment, and I know I'll be back to myself soon.
I won't allow the picture and what it represents to hold me back, and for now I'll keep it as a reminder of how far I've come. Thank God, I'm no longer a prisoner of my past.
Nothing really spectacular happened until I found a certain picture when I was looking for something else in an old photo album.
The picture I found was taken a few hours after I was raped on February 28, 2003.
It's a group picture and the person who raped me is right in the middle.
I hate the picture, but I can't let it go.
Ever since I found the picture, I've been off my game mentally. I really don't like surprises. This feeling will only last for a moment, and I know I'll be back to myself soon.
I won't allow the picture and what it represents to hold me back, and for now I'll keep it as a reminder of how far I've come. Thank God, I'm no longer a prisoner of my past.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
It's Another New Year
Happy New Year!!!
We actually made it to 2013 despite what the Mayans predicted, woo hoo!!
I'm not one to make New Year's Resolutions because I think you should make needed changes when you see fit. There's no need to put off something to another year or another month or day because our time on this earth is never guaranteed.
What's new with me, you ask (well you didn't ask, but if you wanted to know):
We actually made it to 2013 despite what the Mayans predicted, woo hoo!!
I'm not one to make New Year's Resolutions because I think you should make needed changes when you see fit. There's no need to put off something to another year or another month or day because our time on this earth is never guaranteed.
What's new with me, you ask (well you didn't ask, but if you wanted to know):
- I'm back on track mentally. I had an incident get me down and panicky around Thanksgiving, but I've bounced back. My mind and my spirit have been renewed; I'm back to my good place.
- I'm doing a 90 day fitness challenge in which I have to walk 15 miles a week or complete 225 minutes of exercise per week. As part of the challenge, I must consume 64 oz of water per day. I have a love/hate relationship with water. I can drink 8 cups one day and then drink lemonade all day long the next, so I'm striving for consistency.
- I'm trying to refrain from cutting my hair again. I took a couple inches off in November, and I'm not even sure why. It just kind of happened lol. I received a new flat iron for Christmas and I can't wait to use it once my hair gets to a good length. I'm loving team natural, but I wonder how my hair looks straight.
- My baby is no longer a baby, and the terrible 2s are kicking my tail.
- I'm waiting to hear back from the Durham Crisis Response Center about scheduling my volunteer interview. If the interview goes as planned, I will complete training to be a Faith Based Community Educator in February.
- I still don't have a job, but I'm applying for jobs like crazy. At this point, I don't mind staying unemployed until March because I really want to be a DCRC volunteer. I think educating people about domestic violence and sexual assault is one of the purposes for my life. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to allow God to use me in this capacity.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
September 14
My birthday is a big deal to me. I believe that the day I was born has really shaped my personality, so in order to prove my theory I decided to do a google search about personality traits of people born on September 14th. This is what I found:
Now I need to go read about my husband's birthday traits to figure out how he could fall in love with someone like me.
- People born on September 14 are typically the first port of call when others want to find a solution or understand a situation better. Their critical abilities, creativity and problem-solving skills are exceptional and, because they are not afraid to rock the boat, uncover the underlying causes and tell it like it is, they have a reputation for being innovative and progressive thinkers.(Courtesy of birthdaypersonality.tumblr.com/post/6232300156/14-september-the-birthday-of-the-problem-solver)
- Compromises or half-way solutions are not in their vocabulary and their goal is always to work for improvement. Although their ability to evaluate and suggest ways to improve can make them powerful agents of change and progress, it can also earn them a number of enemies because one skill they need to finetune is tact. They don’t mean to offend other people; quite the opposite, as they often have the best interests of others at heart. It is just that they are so insightful, straightforward and direct that they don’t understand that sometimes people aren’t ready to hear the blunt, unadorned truth; they need it to be sugar coated or revealed subtly. (Courtesy of http://birthdaypersonality.tumblr.com/post/6232300156/14-september-the-birthday-of-the-problem-solver)
- Virgos born on September 14 embody the spirit of Virgo perfectionism and criticism. These complex and demanding people can be difficult to live with, but no one can doubt their sincerity. They have a humanitarian streak and always like to make an important contribution to society through their work or life-efforts. (Courtesy of http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/september-14-birthday-astrology.htm)
- September 14 individuals believe in doing a good job. They constantly aspire to perfection and feel insecure about their efforts if they fall short of that mark. One of their goals is to harmonically balance their professional and personal sides of their lives. This is a difficult achievement, yet the people born on this day try hard to make it possible.
- Strengths: observant, effective, efficient; Weaknesses: critical, difficult, impatient (Courtesy of http://fuckyeahvirgos.tumblr.com/post/10195909628/the-september-14th-personality-the-day-of-the)
Now I need to go read about my husband's birthday traits to figure out how he could fall in love with someone like me.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Road to Recovery
Those of you who keep up with my blog know that I stated that I was healed a few weeks ago. I still claim my healing, but the road to recovery is still a long one.
My past rape traumas no longer control my life, but every now and then the PTSD and depression creep back up when triggered by new situations.
I hate the feeling of anxiety and being on high alert all of the time. Once the anxiety starts, my depression comes right along to remind me how much of a loser I am for being so anxious. It's a really bad combination and I'm really trying not to be buried by these feelings.
Pray for me...
My past rape traumas no longer control my life, but every now and then the PTSD and depression creep back up when triggered by new situations.
I hate the feeling of anxiety and being on high alert all of the time. Once the anxiety starts, my depression comes right along to remind me how much of a loser I am for being so anxious. It's a really bad combination and I'm really trying not to be buried by these feelings.
Pray for me...
Friday, November 9, 2012
I'm a Mommy Now
On Tuesday, November 6, 2012, I woke up around 6:30am nervous. I had so much anxiety concerning the election, and I decided to pray. I prayed that God would bless our nation with a leader who cared about us and our struggles. I prayed that God would guide us to make the best decision for our country at the polls and that people would not be blinded by lies. And lastly I prayed that God would keep a hedge of protection around my family no matter the outcome of the election.
I was on pins and needles the entire day and night while waiting for the outcome of the local and national elections. While I was waiting, I realized that never in my history of voting, since I turned 18 in 2004, had I ever been so concerned about the outcome of the election.
In 2004, the presidential candidate I voted for lost. I was a college freshman and I was excited about voting in my first election, but the outcome didn't seem like such a big deal to me back then.
Fast forward to 2008 when Barack Obama first ran for president, then I was in a different place. I had just graduated from college and moved to a new city where I hardly knew anyone. I was working full-time and struggling to put gas in my car and eat twice a day. I believed that Mr. Obama was the change we needed and that he would help me stop being so broke. I was thrilled to tears that he won. I cried so hard that night because I knew history had been made. I honestly never thought I would see a black family in the White House during my lifetime.
I will make a very important point here, I would have voted for Mr. Obama no matter what color his skin was. Four years prior I had no problems voting for a white man. To me it wasn't about his skin color. If Barack Obama was the Republican candidate he would have never earned my vote in 2008 or 2012.
As you can probably gather by the way this post is going, I was excited about Tuesday's election results nationally. I was pissed about how things ended up in North Carolina, but I guess you can't win them all. What mattered most to me is that the entire country wasn't trying to stay in the dark ages. It blessed my soul to witness such progress. Not only did President Obama get re-elected, but many of the Republicans who made the most idiotic comments about rape and women's rights were ousted, the first openly gay senator was elected to the Senate, the first Hindu was elected to the House, and the first Buddhist was elected to the Senate. How awesome is all of that?!?!!?
This election meant so much to me because I could be proud to raise my daughter in a country that is growing in tolerance by leaps and bounds. I never want her to go to school and experience some of the things I experienced in Shelby, NC, when I was growing up.
Olivia should never have to hear a white person use the term "nigger" when describing a certain black person they don't like while sitting in a high school math class. She should never have to share a seat on a school bus with a white boy who crafts a noose out of a tiny piece of rope who proceeds to tell her that his uncle has a tree he can hang her from in the backyard. She should never have to see more Confederate flags than American flags displayed on her classmate's attire, notebooks, backpacks, cars, and homes. She should never have the school officials tell everyone that solid colored bandanas are not allowed, but rebel flag ones are okay. She should never have to see a fight between a white boy and black boy because the white boy called a black girl a "nigger." She should never have to read on the front page of the newspaper about the KKK marching in downtown.
See growing up I experienced all of this and more. So I shouldn't have been surprised when the Facebook posts started popping up from individuals from in and around my hometown talking about the world coming to an end and Jesus coming back because Barack Obama was re-elected. I shouldn't have been surprised when people on Twitter talked about that "nigger" going back to the White House. I shouldn't have been surprised that people I consider friends, classmates, and customers have such hatred in their hearts towards a president who wants the good for everyone in America. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was.
Most of all I was hurt because I don't want Olivia growing up in this type of America. I don't want her to be judged by her skin color. I refuse to teach her to mistreat anyone because they are different than she is. I don't care if a person is black, white, blue, red, orange, purple, or green; I don't care if a person is gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, or trisexual; I don't care what religion a person agrees with of if they have no religion at all; I will raise my daughter to respect and accept every person as an individual. I will teach her to appreciate the beauty of the diversity that is around her. And I will teach her that the best thing about America is that it's a melting pot of cultures, people, and ideas.
With all of these thoughts running through my head, I came to the realization that I'm a mommy now. As a mommy, I want the absolute best for my daughter. I'm convinced that the best is yet to come, despite the ignorance of some and I thank God that most Americans are not like the people in my hometown and many other southern towns.
I was on pins and needles the entire day and night while waiting for the outcome of the local and national elections. While I was waiting, I realized that never in my history of voting, since I turned 18 in 2004, had I ever been so concerned about the outcome of the election.
In 2004, the presidential candidate I voted for lost. I was a college freshman and I was excited about voting in my first election, but the outcome didn't seem like such a big deal to me back then.
Fast forward to 2008 when Barack Obama first ran for president, then I was in a different place. I had just graduated from college and moved to a new city where I hardly knew anyone. I was working full-time and struggling to put gas in my car and eat twice a day. I believed that Mr. Obama was the change we needed and that he would help me stop being so broke. I was thrilled to tears that he won. I cried so hard that night because I knew history had been made. I honestly never thought I would see a black family in the White House during my lifetime.
I will make a very important point here, I would have voted for Mr. Obama no matter what color his skin was. Four years prior I had no problems voting for a white man. To me it wasn't about his skin color. If Barack Obama was the Republican candidate he would have never earned my vote in 2008 or 2012.
As you can probably gather by the way this post is going, I was excited about Tuesday's election results nationally. I was pissed about how things ended up in North Carolina, but I guess you can't win them all. What mattered most to me is that the entire country wasn't trying to stay in the dark ages. It blessed my soul to witness such progress. Not only did President Obama get re-elected, but many of the Republicans who made the most idiotic comments about rape and women's rights were ousted, the first openly gay senator was elected to the Senate, the first Hindu was elected to the House, and the first Buddhist was elected to the Senate. How awesome is all of that?!?!!?
This election meant so much to me because I could be proud to raise my daughter in a country that is growing in tolerance by leaps and bounds. I never want her to go to school and experience some of the things I experienced in Shelby, NC, when I was growing up.
Olivia should never have to hear a white person use the term "nigger" when describing a certain black person they don't like while sitting in a high school math class. She should never have to share a seat on a school bus with a white boy who crafts a noose out of a tiny piece of rope who proceeds to tell her that his uncle has a tree he can hang her from in the backyard. She should never have to see more Confederate flags than American flags displayed on her classmate's attire, notebooks, backpacks, cars, and homes. She should never have the school officials tell everyone that solid colored bandanas are not allowed, but rebel flag ones are okay. She should never have to see a fight between a white boy and black boy because the white boy called a black girl a "nigger." She should never have to read on the front page of the newspaper about the KKK marching in downtown.
See growing up I experienced all of this and more. So I shouldn't have been surprised when the Facebook posts started popping up from individuals from in and around my hometown talking about the world coming to an end and Jesus coming back because Barack Obama was re-elected. I shouldn't have been surprised when people on Twitter talked about that "nigger" going back to the White House. I shouldn't have been surprised that people I consider friends, classmates, and customers have such hatred in their hearts towards a president who wants the good for everyone in America. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was.
Most of all I was hurt because I don't want Olivia growing up in this type of America. I don't want her to be judged by her skin color. I refuse to teach her to mistreat anyone because they are different than she is. I don't care if a person is black, white, blue, red, orange, purple, or green; I don't care if a person is gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, or trisexual; I don't care what religion a person agrees with of if they have no religion at all; I will raise my daughter to respect and accept every person as an individual. I will teach her to appreciate the beauty of the diversity that is around her. And I will teach her that the best thing about America is that it's a melting pot of cultures, people, and ideas.
With all of these thoughts running through my head, I came to the realization that I'm a mommy now. As a mommy, I want the absolute best for my daughter. I'm convinced that the best is yet to come, despite the ignorance of some and I thank God that most Americans are not like the people in my hometown and many other southern towns.
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