Homemade Hair: Shea Butter Mixture & Twists

This is my first installment of something I like to call "Homemade Hair." I'm currently16 months past my last relaxer, and I've gone about 14 months without applying heat to my hair. These particular posts will explore my homemade hair concoctions and hairstyles.

Three days ago, I decided I wanted to try to make my first homemade hair product. I gathered ingredients from my bathroom and kitchen, grabbed a bowl, spoon, and empty container, and then went to work.

I started with organic, filtered African shea butter from Ghana. I ordered this product on Amazon a few months ago. When I ordered it, I had these big plans of using it exclusively as my cream in the liquid oil cream (LOC) method for moisturizing hair. In reality, I've used it a handful of times for my hair and a couple of times for my stretch marks.

I really like the way shea butter seals moisture into the hair, but I don't like it's gritty texture. Please note, the texture is really not a problem if you take the time to properly melt it. I choose to melt it by rapidly rubbing it between the palms of my hands.

While I was perusing the internet for natural hair recipes I noticed a lot for whipped shea butter, and decided that I really wanted to make one for myself so that I could bypass the grit and get to the goods.

For my mixture I first placed half cup of shea butter in a container. I sat the container in a bowl of warm water. I was careful not to allow any of the water to enter the container because I didn't want my mixture to be ruined. My mixture is not meant to moisturize the hair, but rather to seal in moisture that has been previously added.

Next I added a couple teaspoons of extra virgin olive oil (EVOO) to the melted shea butter. I love EVOO because of its great properties. According to Dr. Phoenyx Austin, author of If You Love It, It Will Grow: A Guide To Growing Long Afro Textured Hair, EVOO moisturizes hair, prevents hair loss, strengthens hair, acts as a deep conditioner, and eliminates dandruff.

Then I added a teaspoon of 100% pure castor oil. Some people only think of castor oil as that disgusting liquid your grandma made you choke down as a laxative back in the day, but I love to use it for it's beauty properties.

Castor oil is a lot heavier than olive oil, but it's great for making my curls softer and thicker. Dr. Austin has written that this oil promotes hair growth, prevents thinning, moisturizes, reduces split ends, and tames frizz.

I mixed everything together by hand, but the next time I make a batch of this shea butter mixture I'll be sure to use an electric mixer.  I then co-washed my hair, which means to wash the hair with conditioner only. It sounds a tad bit strange, but it's a great way to clean the hair and scalp without stripping away natural oils.

After I carefully towel-dried my hair, I then applied a small amount of Kinky-Curly Knot Today detangler/leave-in conditioner. I finger-detangled my hair and then finished detangling with a wide-tooth comb. Next I proceeded to two-strand twist my hair without parting the hair first. I like for my hair to look as natural as possible, so I rarely ever part it with a comb. To the right you'll see my shea butter mixture and my finished two-strand twists with the mixture used as a sealant.

Yesterday my hair looked a little dull so I decided to spray my hair with a little water and reseal it with my mixture. Today I took down my twists, and I really love the results.

If you're interested in reading more of what Dr. Austin considers the best oils for natural hair, please read her article on the Black Girl With Long Hair Blog.

Dr. Mommy

When I was a young child, my mama had every natural healing book known to man. Those books came in handy because I didn't have to go to the doctor too many times back then.

When I was young I thought there was nothing homemade chicken noodle soup and honey lemon peppermint tea couldn't fix. And I enjoyed eating and drinking every single drop!

There was this one home remedy that I hated, even though it worked like a charm: the onions or potatoes in the socks. I promise you, there was a not a fever I had that didn't get broken by one of those veggies. It was just so uncomfortable and I distinctly remember writhing n the bed with a high fever trying to kick off my lumpy socks. Eventually I'd fall asleep, and when I'd wake up the in the morning the onions and potatoes would be shriveled and brown. I would feel cool and refreshed as if I'd never had a fever.

Now I'm Dr. Mommy and today my precious little toddler is feverish. I won't lie and say I didn't give her a dose of Children's Motrin, but when that wasn't working fast enough I resorted to the potatoes in the socks trick. I really hope this old school remedy does its job in 2013.

A New Name, Look

I made a big decision to change the name, look, and purpose of this blog.

Over the past couple of years I've been making changes to become happier and healthier in every aspect of my personal life. I've always had a passion for helping others, and I'm always trying to find ways to encourage those around me, as well. So I want this blog to be a true extension of all of me.

Some of the topics I will cover with this new purpose in mind will be familiar ones like sexual assault and domestic violence advocacy, with a sprinkle of the survivor's struggle thrown in. But, there will also be fun new topics like fitness, healthy eating, natural hair, parenting, and sports.

I hope everyone is as excited about these new changes as I am!

The Picture

Friday, January 4, 2013, started off like any other Friday. As the day progressed, I kept getting this overwhelming feeling that something awesome would happen.

Nothing really spectacular happened until I found a certain picture when I was looking for something else in an old photo album.

The picture I found was taken a few hours after I was raped on February 28, 2003.

It's a group picture and the person who raped me is right in the middle.

I hate the picture, but I can't let it go.

Ever since I found the picture, I've been off my game mentally. I really don't like surprises. This feeling will only last for a moment, and I know I'll be back to myself soon.

I won't allow the picture and what it represents to hold me back, and for now I'll keep it as a reminder of how far I've come. Thank God, I'm no longer a prisoner of my past.

It's Another New Year

Happy New Year!!!

We actually made it to 2013 despite what the Mayans predicted, woo hoo!!

I'm not one to make New Year's Resolutions because I think you should make needed changes when you see fit. There's no need to put off something to another year or another month or day because our time on this earth is never guaranteed.

What's new with me, you ask (well you didn't ask, but if you wanted to know):

• I'm back on track mentally. I had an incident get me down and panicky around Thanksgiving, but I've bounced back. My mind and my spirit have been renewed; I'm back to my good place.
• I'm doing a 90 day fitness challenge in which I have to walk 15 miles a week or complete 225 minutes of exercise per week. As part of the challenge, I must consume 64 oz of water per day. I have a love/hate relationship with water. I can drink 8 cups one day and then drink lemonade all day long the next, so I'm striving for consistency. 
• I'm trying to refrain from cutting my hair again. I took a couple inches off in November, and I'm not even sure why. It just kind of happened lol. I received a new flat iron for Christmas and I can't wait to use it once my hair gets to a good length. I'm loving team natural, but I wonder how my hair looks straight. 
• My baby is no longer a baby, and the terrible 2s are kicking my tail.
• I'm waiting to hear back from the Durham Crisis Response Center about scheduling my volunteer interview. If the interview goes as planned, I will complete training to be a Faith Based Community Educator in February. 
• I still don't have a job, but I'm applying for jobs like crazy. At this point, I don't mind staying unemployed until March because I really want to be a DCRC volunteer. I think educating people about domestic violence and sexual assault is one of the purposes for my life. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to allow God to use me in this capacity. 

I think I covered about everything new with me. I wish everyone a happy and prosperous New Year! 

September 14

My birthday is a big deal to me. I believe that the day I was born has really shaped my personality, so in order to prove my theory I decided to do a google search about personality traits of people born on September 14th. This is what I found:

• People born on September 14 are typically the first port of call when others want to find a solution or understand a situation better. Their critical abilities, creativity and problem-solving skills are exceptional and, because they are not afraid to rock the boat, uncover the underlying causes and tell it like it is, they have a reputation for being innovative and progressive thinkers.(Courtesy of birthdaypersonality.tumblr.com/post/6232300156/14-september-the-birthday-of-the-problem-solver)
• Compromises or half-way solutions are not in their vocabulary and their goal is always to work for improvement. Although their ability to evaluate and suggest ways to improve can make them powerful agents of change and progress, it can also earn them a number of enemies because one skill they need to finetune is tact. They don’t mean to offend other people; quite the opposite, as they often have the best interests of others at heart. It is just that they are so insightful, straightforward and direct that they don’t understand that sometimes people aren’t ready to hear the blunt, unadorned truth; they need it to be sugar coated or revealed subtly. (Courtesy of http://birthdaypersonality.tumblr.com/post/6232300156/14-september-the-birthday-of-the-problem-solver)
• Virgos born on September 14 embody the spirit of Virgo perfectionism and criticism. These complex and demanding people can be difficult to live with, but no one can doubt their sincerity. They have a humanitarian streak and always like to make an important contribution to society through their work or life-efforts. (Courtesy of http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/september-14-birthday-astrology.htm)
• September 14 individuals believe in doing a good job. They constantly aspire to perfection and feel insecure about their efforts if they fall short of that mark. One of their goals is to harmonically balance their professional and personal sides of their lives. This is a difficult achievement, yet the people born on this day try hard to make it possible.
• Strengths: observant, effective, efficient; Weaknesses: critical, difficult, impatient (Courtesy of http://fuckyeahvirgos.tumblr.com/post/10195909628/the-september-14th-personality-the-day-of-the)

I can honestly say that all of those these traits and characteristics describe me. It gives me insight into why I don't get along with certain types of people. I'm just too blunt and critical for people to like. On the flip side, I love to be creative, I care deeply for humanity, and I want to change the world. Clearly I have a personality that people either love or hate, and I've learned to accept that.

Now I need to go read about my husband's birthday traits to figure out how he could fall in love with someone like me.

Road to Recovery

Those of you who keep up with my blog know that I stated that I was healed a few weeks ago. I still claim my healing, but the road to recovery is still a long one.

My past rape traumas no longer control my life, but every now and then the PTSD and depression creep back up when triggered by new situations.

I hate the feeling of anxiety and being on high alert all of the time. Once the anxiety starts, my depression comes right along to remind me how much of a loser I am for being so anxious. It's a really bad combination and I'm really trying not to be buried by these feelings.

Pray for me...