I don't know what the future holds...

...but I do know who holds the future!

I've come to realize that I don't know what my future holds. Normally this would scare me because I'm a planner by nature. But I have a sweet, calm assurance that I know everything will be ok.

Some people may find it weird that I really don't know what career I really want in life. Shoot, I think it's a bit crazy myself. When I was in 3rd grade I wanted to be an architect. Then by middle school I wanted to be a broadcast journalist with dreams of working for CNN.

In undergrad I majored in mass communications with a journalism major -- not broadcasting. I decided then that I didn't want to be on the news. The summers after my sophomore and junior years of college I had public relations internships. Once again my focus had shifted. But by the time I quit (yes I said quit) the second internship, I realized that PR wasn't for me.

I tried out a couple different jobs between undergrad and grad school, and somehow I decided to go back to school for Human Resources. I thought a Master's in HR would give me plenty of choices when it came to choosing a career. Indeed it has, but I still don't know what's for me.

Am I afraid to have a real career? Does it scare me to be tied to a job for an extended period of time? Am I avoiding the inevitable? Sometimes I think the answer is yes to all of these questions.

Although I really don't know what I want to do or if I even want a career (lol), I still give my all to school and looking for jobs. But the real question is, will any job or career ever really satisfy me? Will I ever look forward to going to work? Or will work always be a means for me to collect a paycheck? Heck, will I ever even get a job?

Lately I've been thinking about a career in small event planning. I think it would be fun. I like helping people. I love planning! I think I find great money-saving tips and tricks. Planning things excites me. It's something I actually look forward to. If I had a job like that I don't think I would ever be dissatisfied. People always say that you should do what you love and then it won't feel like work. Planning events wouldn't feel like work to me, but I don't think it's a logical choice in this economy. And how the heck would I gain the trust of strangers to let me plan their events?

Maybe my head is too far in the clouds. Who knows?

All I know is that I'm looking forward to my future and I'm thanking God in advance for whatever he has instore for me!