Look at God

Last year I said that my 26th year of life would be my best, and I'm now 2 weeks away from celebrating my 27th birthday.

I can honestly say that I'm happy about life and I'm happy about the work I do. I've touched more lives than I've ever imagined this year, and I've connected to so many people who have positively affected me.

Surprisingly, the 2 people who are making the biggest impact on my life are my teen mentees. They remind me that I'm not too far removed from all of the stress of adolescence. They teach me new words and phrases. They've encouraged me to pray harder. I'm old enough to be their big sister, but I pray for them in the same manner that I pray for my daughter.

I never knew that I could be so concerned about our youth until I started thinking of my very own past. I remember the struggles vividly. I remember how I changed. I remember how hard my heart became. I remember how much hatred I harbored on the inside. I remember my bad attitude and my mean-spiritedness. I remember longing for someone not to judge me. I remember how much I needed an adult to discuss my issues with and how much I needed a hug.

I now realize that God was ordering my steps way back then. He has been shaping me into the very adult I once needed in my life. I now realize that as recently as this summer when God was using me to give ideas to fellow life coaches about mentoring teen boys, He was preparing me to mentor teen girls. I even told one of the life coaches to invite me to Atlanta to talk to the young men in his boys academy about consent, rape, and intimate partner violence. I didn't know I would be traveling around my own state having this same discussion with male and female high school students as part of my volunteer work.

I'm living proof that the Lord works in mysterious ways. All I can say is, "Look at God."

My new prayer is that my 27th year of life brings with it an influx of income. The way my faith is set up, I know it will happen.

By His Stripes Review

Photo Courtesy of Amazon.com

One day I was minding my business on Facebook when I ran across a business ladder on Relationship Coach Tiffany Hampton's page. I decided to add my stress management info to the mix, and it just so happened that the person who commented before me was author Christina L. Mial.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to read new and interesting things. I went months without reading when I became a mother, so I'm always hungry for a good book now that my daughter is a little more independent.

After I opened Christina's book, I couldn't put it down. I read the entire thing in 5 uninterrupted hours with tears streaming down my face.

Christina had so much courage to write such a revealing autobiography that not only shines light on sexual assault and domestic violence, but many other issues like drug abuse and postpartum depression, as well.

I think every mother should read this book to understand how important it is to show and tell your child how much you love them and how beautiful they are.

I connected with many parts of this book, which made me feel like I connected with Christina. This book had such a huge impact on me that I sent Christina a Facebook message telling her how much she blessed me with her writing. She responded immediately, which illustrated how amazing of a person she is.

If you like to read, buy the book. If you don't like to read, buy the book. Whatever you do, BUY THE BOOK!! It's like a message sent straight from God. 

Good News

I'm sorry I have neglected you! I've been busy with my coaching career and moving, but I have a lot of good news to catch you up on.

• I'm now a certified life coach thanks to the amazing folks at the Life Coach Institute of Orange County. If you're interested in becoming a certified life coach, please contact me.

•  I'm contributing to a new blog for female entrepreneurs. If you're a woman with your own business, please check out Wonder Women Unite.

• Late this summer, two great friends that I met on The Knot and I will be launching a natural beauty blog. 

• Another wonderful friend/former co-worker and  I will be launching a blog that's very special to my heart. I won't say what it's about, but you will know soon enough. 

Now that you're all caught up on what's happening in my life, what's new with you? 

Product Review: That Crazy Wrap Thing & Greens

It has been a few weeks since I last blogged here. I've been so busy with my new stress management endeavors that I haven't had a lot of time to share my thoughts that are not related to stress.

This evening I'll be sharing my results from using "That Crazy Wrap Thing"  and Greens by It Works! Global.

I had the privilege of winning a contest hosted by my facebook friend, Ch-Hara (click her name to go to her product website). I won a wrap and received a bonus sample of Greens with my prize.

I'll be the first person to tell you that I was skeptical about the products, but I know quite a few people who use/sell them, so I wasn't too concerned about any type of adverse affects.

The best thing about winning the contest is that I had a chance to try out the products to see if they worked for me before committing to buy.

Before I share my results, I'd like to share my experience with the application of the wrap. When I took the wrap out of the plastic it was in, it felt kind of slimy and wet. It was easy to put on my tummy. The hard part was wrapping myself in plastic wrap. I'd recommend having someone else do that part for you.

Once the wrap was in place, I relaxed on my recliner with 2 or 3 (I really can't remember now; sorry!) bottles of water. According to the instructions I received, I was not suppose to exercise, move around too much or eat while wrapping. I was told to drink plenty of water.

I drank my water and literally felt the burn of the wrap. It wasn't too uncomfortable, but it was unexpected. I had to ask Ch-Hara if that was normal or if that meant I was having a reaction. She assured me it was a normal indication that the wrap was working.

I only wrapped for 45 minutes and I saw results right away. I lost 1 inch from my belly in less than an hour. Ch-Hara told me that the results would be progressive over the next 72 hours, and she was right. I wrapped on April 17th and by April 21st, I had lost 1.2 lbs, 1.5 inches from my waist, and a total of 2 inches from my belly.

You can see my before and after photo above. It has been almost a month since I wrapped, and I have not regained those inches. I can guarantee you that it was not water weight that I lost because water weight always comes back after a day or so.

The same day I wrapped, I also tried my sample of Greens. I expected the Greens to taste rather gross since the powder literally turns your water green, but it actually had a light orange taste. I exercised after I removed my wrap, and I believe that the Greens gave me more energy to burn more calories. I always wear a New Balance N4 heart rate monitor when I work out and I record my results on myfitnesspal.com. I burned 464 calories during Hip Hop Abs Cardio Groove on April 17th. Previous to that date, I had only burned 374 calories doing that same exercise.

Would I recommend the products I tried to others? Certainly. The thing I like about Ch-Hara and the It Works! Global family is that they provide you with a list of ingredients to take to your doctor if you have any questions. Any company that is willing to do that, is good with me. Plus, the products I tried really work!!

It's Hard Being an Introvert

  

I'm an introvert. I have always been an introvert, and I'm perfectly okay with my social caterpillar tendencies. 

I'm much more comfortable being inside my own head exploring my own thoughts than interacting with people sometimes. It's a bit hard to explain because I love helping people and I love talking to people within certain parameters. But I still prefer being alone with my thoughts than being surrounded by the masses at any given moment.

With the launch of my new website, my new facebook page, my new twitter, my new blog, and my new blog talk radio show, along with networking, helping my clients, and volunteering, I'm drained. 

I love what I do, but I'm no longer in my comfort zone. I'm trying hard to stretch myself, but every now and then I wonder if it's even worth it.

I know giving so much of myself will help somebody at some point, but I often wonder if people even appreciate my efforts.

I'm really thinking too hard about things, but I'm pretty sure that's one of the characteristics of being who I am.

It's hard being an introvert.

Out with the Old, In with the New

As the saying goes, "Out with the old. In with the new."

A couple days ago I formally announced the end of my Caramel Apple Delights candy apple making hobby. It was a tough decision to make, but one that I had made back in February. When making candy apples stopped being fun and started causing me stress, I knew I had to let it go.

As I mourn the end of a fun era of putting smiles on people faces with tasty edible delights, I also celebrate my new stress management blog and my new stress management website.

Although I have a new blog, this one will not end. This blog is an extension of my personal life. This blog is about my journey to a happier, healthier me. My new blog is about my business.

I'm a sporadic blogger, so whenever the urge hits (like right now at 3:19 am EST) I'll write here as a way to clear my mind, celebrate new wins in my journey, and review products that I love (or hate).

I'll end this post with a plea. If you haven't had a chance to do so, please visit my new Facebook page www.facebook.com/StressManagementCoachShereka. I'm currently running a contest until April 30, 2013, in which I will randomly select someone to win free stress management coaching. You know if you're stressed and in need of help handling your stress. Here's a quote I think I coined: "If you don't handle your stress, your stress will handle you."

Hooray for April!!

I've been a busy little bee and I haven't been blogging much. I guess now is the time to update you all on 2 major happenings in the life of Naturally Reka.

Fitness
At the end of March I celebrated a fitness victory by surpassing my weight loss goal. I have officially lost over 33lbs since Summer 2011, with about 20lbs being lost since July 2012. On April Fool's Day I wore a 2 piece swimsuit out in public for the first time since 2010. In the picture below you will see a picture of me from July 2012 on the left and April 1, 2013 on the right.

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Last month I won a free It Works! body wrap. I hope to get rid of the rest of my c-section pooch with the wrap, so I'm extremely excited about it! As soon as I receive it and try it there will be a blog post reviewing the product and telling you how you can purchase yours.

Business

A few weeks ago I posted about becoming a Certified Stress Management Coach. I will start marketing my services as soon as my website launches on April 15, 2013. The website is almost complete, so I've started writing my first stress management ebook. I'm thinking of a May 1st release date for the book. There will definitely be a separate blog post on my stress management venture coming soon. For now I'll leave you with photos of my promo stress balls and client stress journals. 

Brazil Butt Lift & Rockin' Body Reviews

Originally, I was going to complete my Brazil Butt Lift / Rockin' Body hybrid program for 6 weeks. After 4 weeks I started to get bored with the schedule, and I was itching to start my Hip Hop Abs routine. Here's what I thought of the programs individually:

Brazil Butt Lift
Although the name suggests this program is solely for the tush, Brazil Butt Lift is definitely a full-body workout program. After completing all of the exercises in the series, I could definitely tell a difference in my waist, bum bum (butt), tummy, and thighs.

My favorite workout from the BBL series is Cardio Axe (pronounced ah-shay). It's an upbeat, Brazilian dance workout that will have you sweating and rocking your hips like a tornado. My least favorite workout was the High and Tight. Although I didn't enjoy this workout at all, I'm sure this is the workout that lifted my bum bum and thinned my thighs. It's important to note that this workout requires ankle weights (that weren't included in my purchase) and a strength band (that was included in my purchase).

Trainer Leandro Carvalho is great at giving direction and explaining what part of your body you're working out, but his smile irritated the heck outta me. How could someone smile so hard while torturing me with crunches, planks, and strength exercises that make my inner thighs scream?

Despite the cons I mentioned above, I would definitely recommend this program to anyone. Leandro will get your booty into shape and you will look great in your skinny jeans! Also, Brazil Butt Lift has different schedules you can follow depending on the problems you have with your booty (i.e. too big, too flat, etc).

Rockin' Body
I absolutely loved Rockin' Body!!! Shaun T is my new bff in my head. He is fun, energetic, hilarious, and so down-to-earth. I honestly felt like he was more of a friend instead of a trainer during the program. Even my daughter enjoyed these dance workouts and she tells me every day, "Mommy, I want to rockin' body!!"

The only cons I noticed in Rockin' Body were the music, the cheesy raps, and the lack of intensity. I expected some cool pop tunes when I ordered Rockin' Body, but instead I got made-up raps by Mr. Shaun T. Before completing Rockin' Body, I did Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, which is super intense. I won't say Rockin' Body is easy because cardio isn't easy for everybody, but it's not as intense as a high intensity interval training workout. Although Rockin' Body never left me sore like BBL or 30 Day Shred, I still burned a lot of calories.

I would definitely recommend Rockin' Body to anybody looking for a fun cardio workout.

Results
I only completed 4 weeks (about 24 days) of the BBL/Rockin' Body hybrid but I still saw some results in that very short amount of time.

• I lost 3.4 lbs (initially I gained 2 lbs when I started then I lost those 2 lbs and an additional 1.4 lbs).
• I lost 1" off my waist. 
• I lost 0.5" from my hips. 
• I lost 0.5" from each thigh.
• I can now pass the "pencil test." (Before you start Brazil Butt Lift program, you're suppose to complete a pencil test to see if your booty needs to be lifted. You place a pencil in the crease where your butt meets the top of your thigh. If the pencil stays put, your booty is hanging too low and you need to work that on out. When I first took the test I failed, but after completing my hybrid program I passed.)

 Here are my before and after photos:

If you can't tell from my cell phone photos, my tummy is a little more flat and my abs near the top of my tummy are a little more defined. Hopefully Hip Hop Abs and cleaning up my diet a little more will help me rid myself of my c-section pooch. Stay tuned for that review in the future.

Both Brazil Butt Lift and Rockin' Body are Team Beachbody products. If you are interested in trying out any Team Beachbody products and don't know a coach, please visit  Coach Alfreda McMillan's website. She's my personal Beachbody Coach and she will get you squared away.

March Madness: Coaching

March Madness is in full effect. I love college basketball, so March gives me life!!!

I pay attention to the craziest details during college basketball games, especially the attire of coaches. The coach of my favorite team, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill's Roy Williams, is the best-dressed coach on the bench, hands down. I always notice his suits and I'm constantly comparing the outfits of other coaches to his outfits.

Another thing I notice about college basketball coaches, is their demeanor. Demeanor is something I try to observe in all types of coaches on all types of levels.

My older sister always played basketball growing up, so I always paid attention to her coaches throughout the years and they all had different approaches and attitudes. My daddy coached church league basketball back in the day and as a child, I would always pay attention to what he was doing. My husband coached elementary school basketball for a couple years and there were times I'd pay more attention to him during games, than I would the kids.

I have a Team Beachbody Coach, the fabulous Mrs. Alfreda McMillan (please click her name to visit her Beachbody site to order terrific products that will get you fit), and I know a few other Beachbody Coaches and they all coach differently.

When I decided to become a Certified Stress Management Coach this month, I started contemplating my attire and my attitude. I've been working on two websites for my coaching career for the past couple of weeks, and one of the biggest things for me is deciding on the look of the sites and the look I want to portray in my pictures for the sites.

The first site will be launching sometime next month, and I hope I give the impression I'm intending to give, and I'd love feedback once it's up and running.

NC NO MORE Day

Today, March 13, 2013, is NO MORE Day in North Carolina. 

What does that mean? It means that I am standing with many other people across the state to say NO MORE to domestic violence and sexual assault. According to the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence, this campaign was created to "galvanize change and radically increase the awareness of domestic violence and sexual assault in our communities." 

I survived sexual assault at the ages of 16 and 19, and my aunt lost her life to domestic violence on March 14, 2012. I have a daughter, nieces, and nephews, and I don't want them or anyone else to suffer the pain of sexual assault and/or domestic violence.

This movement is sponsored by the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault. Please visit their websites and Facebook pages to see how you can join the campaign. Tweet #NCNOMORE and tell the world why you say no more.

10 Years

Do you remember where you were 10 years ago?

I remember, vividly.

Ten years ago I was 16 years old, around 5'3", and 94 lbs. I was on a field trip in Greensboro, NC. I thought I was having the time of my life, but it all changed so quickly.

See exactly 10 years ago today, I was raped for the first time in my life. That day I lost my virginity, my innocence, my self esteem, my self respect, my confidence, my joy, my happiness, my faith, and myself.

I spent years trying to get back everything that was stolen from me, especially myself. I wanted so badly to reclaim the person I was on February 27, 2003, for so long.

It took some time, but I now understand that I can't go back. I can't turn back the hands of time. I can't become the person I used to be. That person is dead and gone. That Shereka died. Do you know how it feels to be a ghost of you former self?

Thank God that is only part of my story. I like to think that my current self is a more refined and mature version of that former self. It took years for me to realize that I was no longer a ghost. It's almost like my soul found a new body when I became whole again.

I won't say that what happened 10 years ago made me a better person because initially it made me a much worse person. I had so much hatred in my heart for so many people back then. I think I hated myself the most.  But that's all in the past because every ounce of hatred has been replaced by so much love for life, people, and myself.

We all have skeletons in our closet. Every good person I know, has had something terrible happen to them. I want you to know that you can recover. You may not get everything back in the exact manner it was packaged before, but you will get exactly what you need to live again.

If you're a person of faith, you know the story of Job. Job didn't get back the exact things and people he lost, but he did get double for his trouble. I'm a living witness that life happens just like that.

In Philippians 4:13 the scripture says, " I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." If no one has ever told you, I want to tell you now that you can and you will do whatever your heart desires. 

In this life you must always remember that you were wonderfully and fearfully made just like David in Psalms 139:14, and you are more than a conqueror through Him that loves you (to paraphrase Romans 8:37).  You may have experienced some trials and setbacks, but God has already prepared you for your comeback. It's up to you to realize it and to push forward through the hurt and pain of the past.

This evening, at almost the exact time in which I was raped 10 years ago, I'll be sitting in my last training class at the Durham Crisis Response Center. Tonight, I will complete my training as a Faith Based Community Educator and I will keep pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling (Philippians 3:14).

My life has come full circle from 10 years ago. I know that tonight will not be the end because Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

I wonder where I'll be 10 years from now.

Unexpected Blessings

If you're one of my regular blog readers or if you're a friend on Facebook, you know I've been going really hard with my exercising since the beginning of the year.

No, I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I did join a 90 day fitness challenge group that commenced on January 1st. I joined the group because I wanted to be more disciplined with my fitness, I wanted to keep myself busy, I wanted to lose 9lbs, and I wanted to help encourage other people.

So far, I've become a lot more disciplined that I was in the past, I've been very busy exercising, I've lost about 6lbs, and I've become a cheerleader for a lot of folks. Along with the intended benefits, I've also become less stressed and less anxious as a result of working out so much.

I've suffered with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for over 6 years, and one of my symptoms has always been panic attacks. I'm proud/ecstatic/blessed to say that I haven't had a panic attack this year. The only thing that really changed in my life was the amount of time I've dedicated to exercising. So I put two and two together and realized that exercise has really improved my mental well-being.

In my volunteer training courses for Durham Crisis Response Center we talk a lot about self care. One way to care for one's self is to exercise. I hear a lot of stories about real domestic violence and sexual assault cases during training, and as a survivor I have to be careful that I'm not triggered by the things I hear. Exercising has really helped me deal with hearing the stories without letting them negatively impact my well-being.

Exercising rocks!

30 Day Shred Review

I started the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred on January 10th, and as of February 17th, I'm officially done with her!

This has been one of the most challenging, yet rewarding experiences of my life. I'm glad I stuck with it and I'm happy to actually report some results.

But before I post my results and before and after photos I wanted to review the exercise program.

The 30 Day Shred is divided into 3 levels. Each level has 3 circuits. Each circuit has strength, cardio, and abdominal exercises. Each level should be completed for 10 days at a time, and each level is harder than the previous one.

Pros:

• Short workout - less than 30 minutes
• You can feel the results in the first couple days of each level
• Intense interval training for better results
• Modifications for beginners for each exercise
• Your heart rate will elevate
• You will break a sweat
• Warm up and cool down included
• All 3 levels are available on YouTube or you can purchase the dvd in Walmart or on Amazon

 Cons: 

• It's monotonous after you've done the first few days of a given level
• I'm not sure if this is true for everyone, but I burned less calories each time I completed the assigned exercises for a given level
• The monotony and the decrease in caloric burn, made it hard for me to want to complete all 30 days and I've had other people tell me they gave up because of boredom 

I guess the most important question is would I recommend this exercise routine to other people, and I definitely would. If you really want to change your body, dedication is required. If you can dedicate 30 days to this workout, you will see results. I think it'll give you the motivation you need to continue on your fitness journey. Furthermore, I think an exerciser at the beginner or intermediate level could benefit from this routine.

Below are my before and after photos and results from completing the 30 Day Shred. It's important to note that I didn't follow Jillian's suggested eating plan, which may have improved my results.

	Weight	Bust	Waist	Tummy	Hips	Thighs
First Day	148.6 lbs	35"	31"	35"	38.5"	24"
Last Day	143.2 lbs	34"	29"	34"	38"	23"

I Refuse to Raise a Couch Potato

My husband is an elementary teacher, so we often have conversations about young children. One topic that we talk about a lot is the activity level and athleticism of this new generation of young folks.

I believe that our society has a microwave popcorn mentality. We want things easy, quick, fast, and in a hurry. Think about the folks who would rather pay X amount of dollars for a wrap that claims to shrink their bellies, eliminate cellulite, and encourage weight loss in a couple days instead of exercising the old fashion way for relatively free (remember jumping jacks, crunches, planks, squats, running, and lots of other cardio require no equipment) for a few weeks.

What exactly are we teaching our children? When they see adults who would rather pay to get the perfect body through plastic surgery, pills, wraps, and other unnatural means, why would we expect them to want to be active?

Whenever my husband tells me he knows kids who get out of breath from running one lap, who don't know the basics of kickball, and who would rather stay inside instead of going outside for recess, I always say, "I refuse to raise a couch potato."


Unlike some 2 year old girls, my daughter loves basketball, football, and soccer. She dribbles her basketball (well  tries really hard to dribble while saying "I dribble") , shoots a basket on her Little Tikes goal, and runs in the opposite direction screaming "defense!" Whenever we're in a store like Walmart or Target, she cries for every football, soccer ball and basketball she sees. We keep a basketball in each car for her to play with while we're on the road. She loves to run with her football and every now and then she attempts to pass it to me or daddy. Any round ball is her soccer ball. She kicks it and she tells me and her daddy to kick it too.

Not only does she like sports, but she also is really interested in exercising. That is mommy's fault (if you could consider it a fault). When she was a year old, my daughter would count my crunches for me while sitting on my tummy. She could only count to 10 then, but it worked for us. Now she can say and demonstrate (in her own little way) stretches, squats and pushups. Whenever she sees me doing jumping jacks, she does her own version and says, "I flap my wings, mommy!" During the day she decides when its time for me to exercise and tells me "let's run, mommy" or "time for exercising." She even goes as far as bringing me my walking weights with the instructions, "weights, mommy, do it!" She's really fascinated with my heart rate monitor and I've caught her trying to put it on a time or two. She's definitely my little personal trainer and my motivation to keep working out when I don't feel like it.

Of course my itty bitty loves normal toddler play like riding her tricycle, running in the front yard, and going to the park to climb, swing and slide. She's a very active little person and I love every bit of it. She pushes me and my husband to keep up with her, which isn't easy. I think the values of staying active will stick with her for a long time because my husband and I make it just as important as eating a balanced meal, reading, having manners, and going to church.

I thank my parents for always having a basketball goal in the back yard, for always encouraging me to ride my bike and to play outside, for buying me random little toys like the Skip-it, hula hoops and jump ropes,  and for always having some random piece of workout equipment around the house when I was a child because it showed me that being active is a normal part of life. I especially thank them for coming outside to play with me.

Fellow parents, I challenge you to refuse to raise a couch potato and to refuse to be one yourself.

February Fitness Updates

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I can be a bit indecisive and impulsive at times. I'm not saying these are good qualities, but they make me, me.

Today while browsing the Facebook I decided to change my workouts for this month. Those annoying little ads on the side of screen are actually worth something sometimes. I saw Facebook an ad for the Beach Body Rockin' Body fitness program, which is on sale for $19.95.

Of course I clicked the link and saw that it was a really good value because it comes with the following workouts:

• Mark, Move & Groove
• Party Express
• Rock It Out
• Disco Groove
• Shaun T's Dance Party
• Hard-core Abs
• Booty Time

After I made my purchase, I was browsing online for before and after photos and general dialogue about Rockin' Body when I stumbled upon a hybrid workout schedule for Brazil Butt Lift (BBL) and Rockin' Body. As you all know from a previous post, I had already planned to do BBL this month. The hybrid schedule is to tone your abs and booty, which is exactly what I planned to do with BBL and Jillian Michael's 6 Week 6 Pack.

My updated fitness plan this month looks like this:

• Complete the February Wall Sits and Donkey Kicks Challenge 
• Complete Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred by mid-February
• Start BBL and Rockin' Body 9 week hybrid program

I'm very excited about my fitness plans this month and I can't wait to see results. Stay tuned for a 30 Day Shred review.

*Disclaimer: I'm not a Team Beach Body coach or paid to try out any of the fitness programs I use.

February Changes

Starting in February my hair will be laid like change the world. Yes gawd hunty!! (in my best Funky Dineva Ross voice!)

There are so many things I'll be doing next month, so I figured I'd give everyone a rundown on how my world is changing and how I plan to change the world for everyone else.

Volunteer Opportunity
I have been blessed with the opportunity to become a volunteer for the Durham Crisis Response Center. My domestic violence and sexual assault advocacy training starts next week. I will be trained as a volunteer for the faith-based initiative at this amazing organization.

The folks there are definitely angels on earth. They do so much for the Durham County community that it blows my mind. They operate a 24 hour crisis line in English and Spanish for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. They offer shelter and transitional housing for their clients. They have non-residential support services that include: hospital accompaniment, legal advocacy, support groups, community education and outreach.

I'm sure there will be a separate post about the work I'll be doing at the DCRC in the following months.

Fitness
Currently, I'm completing the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I'll be done with this program by mid-February, and then I'll start the Jillian Michael's 6 Week 6 Pack workout series. In addition to my new Jillian Michael's fascination, I'll be starting the Brazil Butt Lift 60 day workout in February. To complete my beach body transformation, I thought I'd join a small February Wall Sits and Donkey Kicks challenge. If you're interested in this challenge, please see the details below.

Valentine's Day
If you didn't know, I also make chocolate covered treats to sweeten people's lives. During the month of February, I'll be celebrating a year of making candy apples, chocolate covered strawberries, marshmallow pops, pretzel favors, and chocolate covered pears. For this huge milestone I'm hosting a giveaway at Caramel Apple Delights. Please go vote for one or more of the photos in the 1st Anniversary / Valentine's Day Contest photo album to help a couple win a basket of my delectable treats.

Also, look around and place an order for some sweet treats for your loved ones. A portion of my proceeds after expenses will go to help a very special new friend who is battling breast cancer. She was denied health insurance coverage due to her pre-existing condition, so she needs all the help she can get to cover medical costs. If you'd like to make a donation directly to her, please visit Ashley's Go Fund Me page.

Potty Training
My two-year-old just came off her potty strike which has lasted from the beginning of October till a few days ago. February will mark our first full month of potty training. I'm excited, she's excited, the husband is excited, and the rest of our family can't wait till she's a potty pro so they can take her to some fun places without worrying about accidents.

As you can see, there will be a lot going on in my life during the next 28 days. I'm excited for the changes and challenges, and I'm happy I'll be busy. Although we're a day early, Happy February folks!!

Hair Care Routines

In the last few days I've been busy working out, researching hair care routines, and starting a natural hair Facebook group. 

One of my favorite things to do is talk about natural hair care. I have lots of friends who have been natural for a while, are considering going natural, are currently transitioning to natural, or parenting children with natural hair. I randomly have conversations with most of them on Facebook about what's working and what's not working. I figured it would be a great idea to bring all of my favorite naturals together to have one big, ongoing conversation all about hair! The best part about the group is everyone is encouraged to invite their natural friends so that we can have tons of perspective in a respectable atmosphere. 

Thanks to my new natural community, I've finally come up with hair care routines for me and my little one. Please see below and feel free to comment.

Reka’s Routine*

1. Co-washing: 1x per week – co-wash with V-05 conditioner on Saturday
2. Pre-poo / Shampooing: 1x per week – pre-poo with olive oil on Tuesday and wash out with Shea Moisture Curl & Shine shampoo on Wednesday
3. ACV Rinsing: 1x every other week – after co-wash on Saturday
4. Deep Conditioning: alternate between moisturizing treatment (homemade concoction of coconut oil, avocado oil & organic honey) and protein treatment (Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque) every other week on Wednesday
5. Clarifying: 1x per month – shampoo with Giovanni Deep Cleanse Shampoo at end of month on Wednesday

Livy’s Routine*

1. Co-washing: 1x per week: co-wash with V-05 conditioner on Saturday
2. Pre-poo / Shampooing: 1x per week – pre-poo with olive oil and wash out with Shea Moisture Curl & Shine shampoo on Wednesday
3. Deep Conditioning: 1x per month – alternate between moisturizing treatment (homemade concoction of coconut oil, avocado oil & organic honey) and protein treatment (something homemade) every other month
4. Clarifying: 1x per month – shampoo with Giovanni Deep Cleanse Shampoo at end of month

*LOC method after every wash and when needed between washes

From Random to Routine

I'm a very random, spontaneous person, so it's very hard for me to start a routine and stick to it. I don't have a regular full-time job, so most days I don't have to be up at a certain time or in bed by another time.

It's funny how my life became very stress-free when I stopped working, although there is less money coming into the household. I guess when you don't have deadlines to meet or customers to please, you have less pressure. But I digress.

Most days I just wake up and do things on a whim. Whatever I feel like doing, I do it. If I don't feel like doing something, I put it off to another day. There's really no one to hold me accountable or put me in check, so it's a rather fun way to live.

The problem is that I'm currently in a 90 day fitness challenge group and I need to find a structured hair care routine for myself and my daughter.

The thing I love about my fitness challenge group, is that everyone is very supportive. I'm always motivated to exercise whenever I see another person post about their workout, and I get excited to eat healthy when I see pictures of another person's healthy meal. I'm really starting to get a better handle on this whole healthier way of living thing. And although it took me 1.5 weeks to find workouts to stick to, I've finally found what works for me when it comes to my fitness routine.

The next step when it comes to my challenge group is getting a grasp on my eating habits. I really love healthy food, but I love junk food just as much. I've made a lot of progress from being the type of person to eat fast food 5 times a week to the person who actually cooks dinner 5 times a week. I haven't learned to control my cravings yet though. If I want some ice cream or some chips, I know I can go into the kitchen to get it.

I know you're probably thinking that I should throw out all the unhealthy snacks in the house, but that wouldn't be fair to my husband or daughter. They don't need to lose weight. They're happy with the occasional Lay's potato chip and bowl of Breyer's ice cream. I don't want to deprive them. Sheesh, I want to indulge every now and then, too. My goal is to learn to eat these things in moderation, and to stop eating the calories I've earned back with exercise.

When it comes to the coily curls and curly kinks in the family, I really have to buckle down and make a schedule for washing, co-washing, deep conditioning, protein treating, styling, and apple cider vinegar (ACV) rinsing. I also need to find the right mixture of natural oils and butters to use for my daughter's curls. I will be reading lots of internet posts and doing a lot of trial and error for the next couple of weeks to find out what works best for each of us.

While I set out to meet these not-so-lofty goals, please wish me luck and offer any time management or other advice you may have.

Homemade Hair: Shea Butter Mixture & Twists

This is my first installment of something I like to call "Homemade Hair." I'm currently16 months past my last relaxer, and I've gone about 14 months without applying heat to my hair. These particular posts will explore my homemade hair concoctions and hairstyles.

Three days ago, I decided I wanted to try to make my first homemade hair product. I gathered ingredients from my bathroom and kitchen, grabbed a bowl, spoon, and empty container, and then went to work.

I started with organic, filtered African shea butter from Ghana. I ordered this product on Amazon a few months ago. When I ordered it, I had these big plans of using it exclusively as my cream in the liquid oil cream (LOC) method for moisturizing hair. In reality, I've used it a handful of times for my hair and a couple of times for my stretch marks.

I really like the way shea butter seals moisture into the hair, but I don't like it's gritty texture. Please note, the texture is really not a problem if you take the time to properly melt it. I choose to melt it by rapidly rubbing it between the palms of my hands.

While I was perusing the internet for natural hair recipes I noticed a lot for whipped shea butter, and decided that I really wanted to make one for myself so that I could bypass the grit and get to the goods.

For my mixture I first placed half cup of shea butter in a container. I sat the container in a bowl of warm water. I was careful not to allow any of the water to enter the container because I didn't want my mixture to be ruined. My mixture is not meant to moisturize the hair, but rather to seal in moisture that has been previously added.

Next I added a couple teaspoons of extra virgin olive oil (EVOO) to the melted shea butter. I love EVOO because of its great properties. According to Dr. Phoenyx Austin, author of If You Love It, It Will Grow: A Guide To Growing Long Afro Textured Hair, EVOO moisturizes hair, prevents hair loss, strengthens hair, acts as a deep conditioner, and eliminates dandruff.

Then I added a teaspoon of 100% pure castor oil. Some people only think of castor oil as that disgusting liquid your grandma made you choke down as a laxative back in the day, but I love to use it for it's beauty properties.

Castor oil is a lot heavier than olive oil, but it's great for making my curls softer and thicker. Dr. Austin has written that this oil promotes hair growth, prevents thinning, moisturizes, reduces split ends, and tames frizz.

I mixed everything together by hand, but the next time I make a batch of this shea butter mixture I'll be sure to use an electric mixer.  I then co-washed my hair, which means to wash the hair with conditioner only. It sounds a tad bit strange, but it's a great way to clean the hair and scalp without stripping away natural oils.

After I carefully towel-dried my hair, I then applied a small amount of Kinky-Curly Knot Today detangler/leave-in conditioner. I finger-detangled my hair and then finished detangling with a wide-tooth comb. Next I proceeded to two-strand twist my hair without parting the hair first. I like for my hair to look as natural as possible, so I rarely ever part it with a comb. To the right you'll see my shea butter mixture and my finished two-strand twists with the mixture used as a sealant.

Yesterday my hair looked a little dull so I decided to spray my hair with a little water and reseal it with my mixture. Today I took down my twists, and I really love the results.

If you're interested in reading more of what Dr. Austin considers the best oils for natural hair, please read her article on the Black Girl With Long Hair Blog.

Dr. Mommy

When I was a young child, my mama had every natural healing book known to man. Those books came in handy because I didn't have to go to the doctor too many times back then.

When I was young I thought there was nothing homemade chicken noodle soup and honey lemon peppermint tea couldn't fix. And I enjoyed eating and drinking every single drop!

There was this one home remedy that I hated, even though it worked like a charm: the onions or potatoes in the socks. I promise you, there was a not a fever I had that didn't get broken by one of those veggies. It was just so uncomfortable and I distinctly remember writhing n the bed with a high fever trying to kick off my lumpy socks. Eventually I'd fall asleep, and when I'd wake up the in the morning the onions and potatoes would be shriveled and brown. I would feel cool and refreshed as if I'd never had a fever.

Now I'm Dr. Mommy and today my precious little toddler is feverish. I won't lie and say I didn't give her a dose of Children's Motrin, but when that wasn't working fast enough I resorted to the potatoes in the socks trick. I really hope this old school remedy does its job in 2013.

A New Name, Look

I made a big decision to change the name, look, and purpose of this blog.

Over the past couple of years I've been making changes to become happier and healthier in every aspect of my personal life. I've always had a passion for helping others, and I'm always trying to find ways to encourage those around me, as well. So I want this blog to be a true extension of all of me.

Some of the topics I will cover with this new purpose in mind will be familiar ones like sexual assault and domestic violence advocacy, with a sprinkle of the survivor's struggle thrown in. But, there will also be fun new topics like fitness, healthy eating, natural hair, parenting, and sports.

I hope everyone is as excited about these new changes as I am!

The Picture

Friday, January 4, 2013, started off like any other Friday. As the day progressed, I kept getting this overwhelming feeling that something awesome would happen.

Nothing really spectacular happened until I found a certain picture when I was looking for something else in an old photo album.

The picture I found was taken a few hours after I was raped on February 28, 2003.

It's a group picture and the person who raped me is right in the middle.

I hate the picture, but I can't let it go.

Ever since I found the picture, I've been off my game mentally. I really don't like surprises. This feeling will only last for a moment, and I know I'll be back to myself soon.

I won't allow the picture and what it represents to hold me back, and for now I'll keep it as a reminder of how far I've come. Thank God, I'm no longer a prisoner of my past.

It's Another New Year

Happy New Year!!!

We actually made it to 2013 despite what the Mayans predicted, woo hoo!!

I'm not one to make New Year's Resolutions because I think you should make needed changes when you see fit. There's no need to put off something to another year or another month or day because our time on this earth is never guaranteed.

What's new with me, you ask (well you didn't ask, but if you wanted to know):

• I'm back on track mentally. I had an incident get me down and panicky around Thanksgiving, but I've bounced back. My mind and my spirit have been renewed; I'm back to my good place.
• I'm doing a 90 day fitness challenge in which I have to walk 15 miles a week or complete 225 minutes of exercise per week. As part of the challenge, I must consume 64 oz of water per day. I have a love/hate relationship with water. I can drink 8 cups one day and then drink lemonade all day long the next, so I'm striving for consistency. 
• I'm trying to refrain from cutting my hair again. I took a couple inches off in November, and I'm not even sure why. It just kind of happened lol. I received a new flat iron for Christmas and I can't wait to use it once my hair gets to a good length. I'm loving team natural, but I wonder how my hair looks straight. 
• My baby is no longer a baby, and the terrible 2s are kicking my tail.
• I'm waiting to hear back from the Durham Crisis Response Center about scheduling my volunteer interview. If the interview goes as planned, I will complete training to be a Faith Based Community Educator in February. 
• I still don't have a job, but I'm applying for jobs like crazy. At this point, I don't mind staying unemployed until March because I really want to be a DCRC volunteer. I think educating people about domestic violence and sexual assault is one of the purposes for my life. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to allow God to use me in this capacity. 

I think I covered about everything new with me. I wish everyone a happy and prosperous New Year!