10 Years

Do you remember where you were 10 years ago?

I remember, vividly.

Ten years ago I was 16 years old, around 5'3", and 94 lbs. I was on a field trip in Greensboro, NC. I thought I was having the time of my life, but it all changed so quickly.

See exactly 10 years ago today, I was raped for the first time in my life. That day I lost my virginity, my innocence, my self esteem, my self respect, my confidence, my joy, my happiness, my faith, and myself.

I spent years trying to get back everything that was stolen from me, especially myself. I wanted so badly to reclaim the person I was on February 27, 2003, for so long.

It took some time, but I now understand that I can't go back. I can't turn back the hands of time. I can't become the person I used to be. That person is dead and gone. That Shereka died. Do you know how it feels to be a ghost of you former self?

Thank God that is only part of my story. I like to think that my current self is a more refined and mature version of that former self. It took years for me to realize that I was no longer a ghost. It's almost like my soul found a new body when I became whole again.

I won't say that what happened 10 years ago made me a better person because initially it made me a much worse person. I had so much hatred in my heart for so many people back then. I think I hated myself the most.  But that's all in the past because every ounce of hatred has been replaced by so much love for life, people, and myself.

We all have skeletons in our closet. Every good person I know, has had something terrible happen to them. I want you to know that you can recover. You may not get everything back in the exact manner it was packaged before, but you will get exactly what you need to live again.

If you're a person of faith, you know the story of Job. Job didn't get back the exact things and people he lost, but he did get double for his trouble. I'm a living witness that life happens just like that.

In Philippians 4:13 the scripture says, " I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." If no one has ever told you, I want to tell you now that you can and you will do whatever your heart desires. 

In this life you must always remember that you were wonderfully and fearfully made just like David in Psalms 139:14, and you are more than a conqueror through Him that loves you (to paraphrase Romans 8:37).  You may have experienced some trials and setbacks, but God has already prepared you for your comeback. It's up to you to realize it and to push forward through the hurt and pain of the past.

This evening, at almost the exact time in which I was raped 10 years ago, I'll be sitting in my last training class at the Durham Crisis Response Center. Tonight, I will complete my training as a Faith Based Community Educator and I will keep pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling (Philippians 3:14).

My life has come full circle from 10 years ago. I know that tonight will not be the end because Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

I wonder where I'll be 10 years from now.

Unexpected Blessings

If you're one of my regular blog readers or if you're a friend on Facebook, you know I've been going really hard with my exercising since the beginning of the year.

No, I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I did join a 90 day fitness challenge group that commenced on January 1st. I joined the group because I wanted to be more disciplined with my fitness, I wanted to keep myself busy, I wanted to lose 9lbs, and I wanted to help encourage other people.

So far, I've become a lot more disciplined that I was in the past, I've been very busy exercising, I've lost about 6lbs, and I've become a cheerleader for a lot of folks. Along with the intended benefits, I've also become less stressed and less anxious as a result of working out so much.

I've suffered with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for over 6 years, and one of my symptoms has always been panic attacks. I'm proud/ecstatic/blessed to say that I haven't had a panic attack this year. The only thing that really changed in my life was the amount of time I've dedicated to exercising. So I put two and two together and realized that exercise has really improved my mental well-being.

In my volunteer training courses for Durham Crisis Response Center we talk a lot about self care. One way to care for one's self is to exercise. I hear a lot of stories about real domestic violence and sexual assault cases during training, and as a survivor I have to be careful that I'm not triggered by the things I hear. Exercising has really helped me deal with hearing the stories without letting them negatively impact my well-being.

Exercising rocks!

30 Day Shred Review

I started the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred on January 10th, and as of February 17th, I'm officially done with her!

This has been one of the most challenging, yet rewarding experiences of my life. I'm glad I stuck with it and I'm happy to actually report some results.

But before I post my results and before and after photos I wanted to review the exercise program.

The 30 Day Shred is divided into 3 levels. Each level has 3 circuits. Each circuit has strength, cardio, and abdominal exercises. Each level should be completed for 10 days at a time, and each level is harder than the previous one.

Pros:

• Short workout - less than 30 minutes
• You can feel the results in the first couple days of each level
• Intense interval training for better results
• Modifications for beginners for each exercise
• Your heart rate will elevate
• You will break a sweat
• Warm up and cool down included
• All 3 levels are available on YouTube or you can purchase the dvd in Walmart or on Amazon

 Cons: 

• It's monotonous after you've done the first few days of a given level
• I'm not sure if this is true for everyone, but I burned less calories each time I completed the assigned exercises for a given level
• The monotony and the decrease in caloric burn, made it hard for me to want to complete all 30 days and I've had other people tell me they gave up because of boredom 

I guess the most important question is would I recommend this exercise routine to other people, and I definitely would. If you really want to change your body, dedication is required. If you can dedicate 30 days to this workout, you will see results. I think it'll give you the motivation you need to continue on your fitness journey. Furthermore, I think an exerciser at the beginner or intermediate level could benefit from this routine.

Below are my before and after photos and results from completing the 30 Day Shred. It's important to note that I didn't follow Jillian's suggested eating plan, which may have improved my results.

	Weight	Bust	Waist	Tummy	Hips	Thighs
First Day	148.6 lbs	35"	31"	35"	38.5"	24"
Last Day	143.2 lbs	34"	29"	34"	38"	23"

I Refuse to Raise a Couch Potato

My husband is an elementary teacher, so we often have conversations about young children. One topic that we talk about a lot is the activity level and athleticism of this new generation of young folks.

I believe that our society has a microwave popcorn mentality. We want things easy, quick, fast, and in a hurry. Think about the folks who would rather pay X amount of dollars for a wrap that claims to shrink their bellies, eliminate cellulite, and encourage weight loss in a couple days instead of exercising the old fashion way for relatively free (remember jumping jacks, crunches, planks, squats, running, and lots of other cardio require no equipment) for a few weeks.

What exactly are we teaching our children? When they see adults who would rather pay to get the perfect body through plastic surgery, pills, wraps, and other unnatural means, why would we expect them to want to be active?

Whenever my husband tells me he knows kids who get out of breath from running one lap, who don't know the basics of kickball, and who would rather stay inside instead of going outside for recess, I always say, "I refuse to raise a couch potato."


Unlike some 2 year old girls, my daughter loves basketball, football, and soccer. She dribbles her basketball (well  tries really hard to dribble while saying "I dribble") , shoots a basket on her Little Tikes goal, and runs in the opposite direction screaming "defense!" Whenever we're in a store like Walmart or Target, she cries for every football, soccer ball and basketball she sees. We keep a basketball in each car for her to play with while we're on the road. She loves to run with her football and every now and then she attempts to pass it to me or daddy. Any round ball is her soccer ball. She kicks it and she tells me and her daddy to kick it too.

Not only does she like sports, but she also is really interested in exercising. That is mommy's fault (if you could consider it a fault). When she was a year old, my daughter would count my crunches for me while sitting on my tummy. She could only count to 10 then, but it worked for us. Now she can say and demonstrate (in her own little way) stretches, squats and pushups. Whenever she sees me doing jumping jacks, she does her own version and says, "I flap my wings, mommy!" During the day she decides when its time for me to exercise and tells me "let's run, mommy" or "time for exercising." She even goes as far as bringing me my walking weights with the instructions, "weights, mommy, do it!" She's really fascinated with my heart rate monitor and I've caught her trying to put it on a time or two. She's definitely my little personal trainer and my motivation to keep working out when I don't feel like it.

Of course my itty bitty loves normal toddler play like riding her tricycle, running in the front yard, and going to the park to climb, swing and slide. She's a very active little person and I love every bit of it. She pushes me and my husband to keep up with her, which isn't easy. I think the values of staying active will stick with her for a long time because my husband and I make it just as important as eating a balanced meal, reading, having manners, and going to church.

I thank my parents for always having a basketball goal in the back yard, for always encouraging me to ride my bike and to play outside, for buying me random little toys like the Skip-it, hula hoops and jump ropes,  and for always having some random piece of workout equipment around the house when I was a child because it showed me that being active is a normal part of life. I especially thank them for coming outside to play with me.

Fellow parents, I challenge you to refuse to raise a couch potato and to refuse to be one yourself.

February Fitness Updates

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I can be a bit indecisive and impulsive at times. I'm not saying these are good qualities, but they make me, me.

Today while browsing the Facebook I decided to change my workouts for this month. Those annoying little ads on the side of screen are actually worth something sometimes. I saw Facebook an ad for the Beach Body Rockin' Body fitness program, which is on sale for $19.95.

Of course I clicked the link and saw that it was a really good value because it comes with the following workouts:

• Mark, Move & Groove
• Party Express
• Rock It Out
• Disco Groove
• Shaun T's Dance Party
• Hard-core Abs
• Booty Time

After I made my purchase, I was browsing online for before and after photos and general dialogue about Rockin' Body when I stumbled upon a hybrid workout schedule for Brazil Butt Lift (BBL) and Rockin' Body. As you all know from a previous post, I had already planned to do BBL this month. The hybrid schedule is to tone your abs and booty, which is exactly what I planned to do with BBL and Jillian Michael's 6 Week 6 Pack.

My updated fitness plan this month looks like this:

• Complete the February Wall Sits and Donkey Kicks Challenge 
• Complete Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred by mid-February
• Start BBL and Rockin' Body 9 week hybrid program

I'm very excited about my fitness plans this month and I can't wait to see results. Stay tuned for a 30 Day Shred review.

*Disclaimer: I'm not a Team Beach Body coach or paid to try out any of the fitness programs I use.