Friday, February 18, 2011
Ugh :/
I'm suppose to be reading for class, but I'm sitting here wondering why no one told me about post partum hair loss. My hair is shedding like crazy and I had to google to make sure I'm not tripping. Apparently it's one of those lovely after pregnancy side effects. This is some bull!
Field Experience
As you all know, I'm not just a wife and a mother, but a graduate student, too. After this current semester I'll only have 2 courses left: field experience and an elective of my choice. The plan is to take these 2 classes over the summer so I can graduate in August.
The field experience course requires me to obtain an internship that will allow me to get 150 hours of instruction/experience outside the virtual classroom. The internship requirement has me feeling rather anxious. I know I need the hands-on experience if I want to start my career, and I look forward to it. I'm just anxious about finding an assignment. Although I live in an area that has some of the best job opportunities in the country, it's been hell locating a company looking for an HR intern.
So far I've applied to Blue Cross Blue Shield and IBM, but now I'm considering venturing out of my comfort zone/geographic area. There's a Volvo Group HR internship in Greensboro. I've worked in Greensboro before. I've lived there before. It's not my favorite place and I dread the hour commute. But something about this internship opportunity speaks to me because I believe it will lead to a fulltime position. I need a fulltime position upon graduation because I need to start my career.
I just keep thinking if I do apply for the internship and actually get the position, who will watch my darling Baby O while I work. Will she suffer from separation anxiety? Will she miss me? Will she cry? Shoot, will I suffer anxiety and cry? Probably....but I gotta make it happen so that I can give my baby girl all she needs and some of her other heart's desires.
I gotta get this application poppin!
The field experience course requires me to obtain an internship that will allow me to get 150 hours of instruction/experience outside the virtual classroom. The internship requirement has me feeling rather anxious. I know I need the hands-on experience if I want to start my career, and I look forward to it. I'm just anxious about finding an assignment. Although I live in an area that has some of the best job opportunities in the country, it's been hell locating a company looking for an HR intern.
So far I've applied to Blue Cross Blue Shield and IBM, but now I'm considering venturing out of my comfort zone/geographic area. There's a Volvo Group HR internship in Greensboro. I've worked in Greensboro before. I've lived there before. It's not my favorite place and I dread the hour commute. But something about this internship opportunity speaks to me because I believe it will lead to a fulltime position. I need a fulltime position upon graduation because I need to start my career.
I just keep thinking if I do apply for the internship and actually get the position, who will watch my darling Baby O while I work. Will she suffer from separation anxiety? Will she miss me? Will she cry? Shoot, will I suffer anxiety and cry? Probably....but I gotta make it happen so that I can give my baby girl all she needs and some of her other heart's desires.
I gotta get this application poppin!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Baby O @ 2 Month
Yesterday Baby O turned 2 months. She's so interactive and fun now. She loves watching and grabbing at Glowy her Gloworm and her crinkly-winged bug rattle thingy. She likes punching Tate the Tiger in the nose. She smiles at her team of toys (Glowy, Tate, and Bug), although she doesn't really show interest in her other stuffed animals yet. She absolutely loves smiling and chuckling at mommy and daddy. Every morning when mommy says "Good morning," baby O gets the biggest smile on her face! When daddy comes home from work, Baby O knows it's time to play on his lap, and that's usually when she chuckles. She loves staring at the ceiling fan and any source of light, and she's getting a lot better at tummy time.
Diapers.com
Today I bought a box of 252 Pampers Baby Dry Diapers for $24.44!!!
Any new customers who purchase through Diapers.com and use the promo code SHER775487 will receive 30% off their diaper order for 3 months!!!
Any new customers who purchase through Diapers.com and use the promo code SHER775487 will receive 30% off their diaper order for 3 months!!!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Our 1st V-Day
Yesterday was my first Valentine's Day as a wife and mother. Last year, C and I celebrated alone as an engaged couple. This year, we didn't really celebrate because our precious Baby O was in so much pain.
Baby O was diagnosed with acid reflux aka the devil about 3-4 weeks ago. The doctor doesn't want to medicate her because of possible side effects and because Baby O is gaining weight better than ever.
A week or two after the baby's diagnosis, the devil was rearing it's ugly head so bad that I called the doc because something needed to be done. He recommended thickening Baby O's formula with rice cereal so that she wouldn't spit up as frequently. I was hesitant, but something had to be done due to my baby's discomfort. Lo and behold the rice cereal worked and Baby O actually liked it.
My mom and mothers of other refluxy babies recommended I try Enfamil AR (formula with added rice starch) to help with the devil. It sounded convenient so I waited till I was out of rice cereal to buy a can. We started using it last Wednesday or Thursday and Baby O seemed to like it. We didn't have any problems till I realized yesterday that Baby O hadn't pooped since Friday. WTF?!?!?!
Shortly after I realized my baby hadn't pooped in days, the screaming began. I mean blood-curdling, I-think-someone-is-trying-to-kill-me-slowly-with-a-dull-knife type screaming. The look on Baby O's face was so pitiful and I felt so helpless. She was screaming from constipation. Apparently the new formula had a very bad effect on my little one's digestive system.
So our first Valentine's Day as a family was spent with my child screaming bloody murder and C and I trying to make her comfortable and unconstipated. How romantic.
Thankfully Baby O is all better today, but she's spitting up more. I think I'll just deal with the spit up and stop trying to remedy the devil with formula changes.
Baby O was diagnosed with acid reflux aka the devil about 3-4 weeks ago. The doctor doesn't want to medicate her because of possible side effects and because Baby O is gaining weight better than ever.
A week or two after the baby's diagnosis, the devil was rearing it's ugly head so bad that I called the doc because something needed to be done. He recommended thickening Baby O's formula with rice cereal so that she wouldn't spit up as frequently. I was hesitant, but something had to be done due to my baby's discomfort. Lo and behold the rice cereal worked and Baby O actually liked it.
My mom and mothers of other refluxy babies recommended I try Enfamil AR (formula with added rice starch) to help with the devil. It sounded convenient so I waited till I was out of rice cereal to buy a can. We started using it last Wednesday or Thursday and Baby O seemed to like it. We didn't have any problems till I realized yesterday that Baby O hadn't pooped since Friday. WTF?!?!?!
Shortly after I realized my baby hadn't pooped in days, the screaming began. I mean blood-curdling, I-think-someone-is-trying-to-kill-me-slowly-with-a-dull-knife type screaming. The look on Baby O's face was so pitiful and I felt so helpless. She was screaming from constipation. Apparently the new formula had a very bad effect on my little one's digestive system.
So our first Valentine's Day as a family was spent with my child screaming bloody murder and C and I trying to make her comfortable and unconstipated. How romantic.
Thankfully Baby O is all better today, but she's spitting up more. I think I'll just deal with the spit up and stop trying to remedy the devil with formula changes.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
So far, so good
So yesterday I posted about letting Baby O cry a little in order to get her to sleep in places other than my arms. I didn't just leave her in her crib, swing, bouncer, or Pack N Play and leave the room so she could cry her eyes out. I sat her in her bouncer next to the couch with the vibration and music on while I stroked her head, held her hand, and held her paci. I wanted her to know that I was right there and wouldn't abandon her, but that she needed to nap without me holding her.
She cried for an hour with me soothing her and then she fell asleep. She woke up about 11 minutes later, but she went to sleep in a place other than my arms. This morning she actually napped in her Pack N Play without any tears. I put her in there with her Gloworm and one of her favorite blankies. After me making the Gloworm sing umpteen times, she finally drifted off to sleep peacefully and stayed that way for about 45 minutes or so. I was so proud of my baby!
It seemed like so many things clicked for Baby O today. Not only did she nap by herself without crying, but she also had tummy time without incident, and she played on her playmat without having a fit (both which have never happened before). I guess my baby is growing up and growing a little independent. She knows her mommy loves her and won't leave her to suffer.
I guess so far, so good!
She cried for an hour with me soothing her and then she fell asleep. She woke up about 11 minutes later, but she went to sleep in a place other than my arms. This morning she actually napped in her Pack N Play without any tears. I put her in there with her Gloworm and one of her favorite blankies. After me making the Gloworm sing umpteen times, she finally drifted off to sleep peacefully and stayed that way for about 45 minutes or so. I was so proud of my baby!
It seemed like so many things clicked for Baby O today. Not only did she nap by herself without crying, but she also had tummy time without incident, and she played on her playmat without having a fit (both which have never happened before). I guess my baby is growing up and growing a little independent. She knows her mommy loves her and won't leave her to suffer.
I guess so far, so good!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Wish me luck...
I have a tendency to get in over my head sometimes. I'm over-zealous you may say. So giving birth and continuing grad school without skipping a beat may be one of those times I've gotten in over my head.
I have a high-needs baby. Some people call her spoiled. Either way, she loves being attached to her mama. There are times when I love it too. I love snuggling and cuddling her. She's so warm, soft, and loving. But when mama has to potty or needs to eat, it gets kinda old really quickly.
Everyone keeps telling me I should let her cry. It won't hurt her, even if it hurts me. I know it's something I need to try because I'm behind on my schoolwork and I hardly ever eat when C is at work. But mommy guilt is kicking my butt. How can I let my baby cry when she needs me?
Apparently Baby O has trained me to respond to her every whim even when she really doesn't need something. So today I'm starting to condition her to nap in places other than my arms without crying, screaming, or waking herself.
Wish me luck!
I have a high-needs baby. Some people call her spoiled. Either way, she loves being attached to her mama. There are times when I love it too. I love snuggling and cuddling her. She's so warm, soft, and loving. But when mama has to potty or needs to eat, it gets kinda old really quickly.
Everyone keeps telling me I should let her cry. It won't hurt her, even if it hurts me. I know it's something I need to try because I'm behind on my schoolwork and I hardly ever eat when C is at work. But mommy guilt is kicking my butt. How can I let my baby cry when she needs me?
Apparently Baby O has trained me to respond to her every whim even when she really doesn't need something. So today I'm starting to condition her to nap in places other than my arms without crying, screaming, or waking herself.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Mommy Guilt
The first time I felt mommy guilt or the "baby blues" was in the wee hours of the morning while still in the hospital. Baby O wouldn't stop crying no matter how much I nursed her, how often I changed her diaper, or how I cuddled her. So I gave her a pacifier, which the hospital strongly advised against. The paci made her content for a lil while, but she still seemed hungry. I tried over and over to nurse her, but my milk wasn't in.
I broke down crying hysterically and called my mom. It was 1am and she was fast asleep, but she told me it was ok to give my baby formula. For some reason I felt so guilty about giving my baby that unnatural breastmilk alternative. Everyone knows breastmilk is best. How could I give my baby the worst? But that didn't stop me from requesting it from the nurse. The nurse tried to talk me out of it. I had to sign a waiver. But my daughter needed to eat.
She ate. She slept peacefully. More peacefully than she ever had. I was able to rest too. Formula was my friend until the nurse on the next shift came in.
She scolded me about the paci, and she was against the evil formula. I felt bad, and agreed to use a pump. So I pumped colostrum till I left the hospital after a 4 day long stay. My milk still wasn't in.
Immediately after discharge O had her first doctor's visit. I didn't want to breastfeed, and I didn't have a pump. It was time for her to eat, so I gave her formula. After we left the doctor we went immediately to Babies R Us to purchase a pump.
My milk finally came in on day 5. I was excited. I pumped like crazy, but then I had a minor setback with my c-section recovery that required meds. The medication gave O diarrhea, which meant a week's worth of pumping and dumping. It broke my heart to pour my liquid gold down the drain. I cried because guilt set in again. Then a piece on my pump broke. It was a Sunday night and every store that sold the part was closed. My supply took such a nosedive that when O could have breastmilk again that hardly anything came out.
I tried drinking Mother's Milk Tea. I tried pumping more, but I soon became exhausted. I realized that breastfeeding/ pumping wasn't working for us. Sometimes I feel guilty about that still, but I try to remember my mom's words of wisdom.
She explained to me when I was on the meds that she and all her 8 siblings were breastfed. She still got diabetes and so did a sister. Another sister got high blood pressure. Her mom died from cervical cancer. Things that breastfeeding should prevent in the children and the mother. Although breast may be best, it's not a cureall. My mom never breastfed me or my sister. We both graduated high school in the top 5% of our class and went to college on full academic scholarships. Apparently formula doesn't dumb a person down too much. My sister and I are relatively healthy. Yes we have moderate food allergies, but I know of a breastfed baby with severe food allergies.
It took 6 weeks for me to come to the realization that giving my child formula doesn't make me less of a mother than the next chick. I'm a mother because I love my child, and I'll do anything to make sure she's happy and healthy. There's no need in crying over spilled (breast)milk.
I broke down crying hysterically and called my mom. It was 1am and she was fast asleep, but she told me it was ok to give my baby formula. For some reason I felt so guilty about giving my baby that unnatural breastmilk alternative. Everyone knows breastmilk is best. How could I give my baby the worst? But that didn't stop me from requesting it from the nurse. The nurse tried to talk me out of it. I had to sign a waiver. But my daughter needed to eat.
She ate. She slept peacefully. More peacefully than she ever had. I was able to rest too. Formula was my friend until the nurse on the next shift came in.
She scolded me about the paci, and she was against the evil formula. I felt bad, and agreed to use a pump. So I pumped colostrum till I left the hospital after a 4 day long stay. My milk still wasn't in.
Immediately after discharge O had her first doctor's visit. I didn't want to breastfeed, and I didn't have a pump. It was time for her to eat, so I gave her formula. After we left the doctor we went immediately to Babies R Us to purchase a pump.
My milk finally came in on day 5. I was excited. I pumped like crazy, but then I had a minor setback with my c-section recovery that required meds. The medication gave O diarrhea, which meant a week's worth of pumping and dumping. It broke my heart to pour my liquid gold down the drain. I cried because guilt set in again. Then a piece on my pump broke. It was a Sunday night and every store that sold the part was closed. My supply took such a nosedive that when O could have breastmilk again that hardly anything came out.
I tried drinking Mother's Milk Tea. I tried pumping more, but I soon became exhausted. I realized that breastfeeding/ pumping wasn't working for us. Sometimes I feel guilty about that still, but I try to remember my mom's words of wisdom.
She explained to me when I was on the meds that she and all her 8 siblings were breastfed. She still got diabetes and so did a sister. Another sister got high blood pressure. Her mom died from cervical cancer. Things that breastfeeding should prevent in the children and the mother. Although breast may be best, it's not a cureall. My mom never breastfed me or my sister. We both graduated high school in the top 5% of our class and went to college on full academic scholarships. Apparently formula doesn't dumb a person down too much. My sister and I are relatively healthy. Yes we have moderate food allergies, but I know of a breastfed baby with severe food allergies.
It took 6 weeks for me to come to the realization that giving my child formula doesn't make me less of a mother than the next chick. I'm a mother because I love my child, and I'll do anything to make sure she's happy and healthy. There's no need in crying over spilled (breast)milk.
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